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| Who Are The Victims? |
ANYONE CAN BE A VICTIM of domestic violence: rich ... poor ... old ... young... married ... single ... Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, Native American ... professionals ... unemployed people ... celebrities. Though both women and men can be a victim, the vast majority of victims are women.
For women aged 15 to 44, domestic violence is the leading cause of injury.
Children living in a home where the mother is abused are also more likely to receive mistreatment or neglect by the abuser. Children who witness abuse are victims as well.
If you are a woman of a racial or ethnic minority
Women who belong to a racial or ethnic minority may feel they are much less likely to receive help than are white women because of prejudice against them. You may be reluctant to seek help because you don’t believe anyone will help you. The groups listed in this handbook will help you.
Your partner may use your common experiences with prejudice and understandable fear of prejudice to keep you under control. He may tell you that if you “have him arrested,” he may be beaten or killed by the police. He may suggest that you are “selling out” to the white man by seeking help from outside your own community. He may ridicule you by saying you’re going to a bunch of white women for help. He may tell you that because of prejudice, you should do what he tells you so that he can feel like a real man.
You may be concerned about encountering prejudice from staff, volunteers, or white battered women. All staff and volunteers of groups listed in this book have training on racial and ethnic minorities and are given information about the special issues that face minority women in battering relationships.
If you are a lesbian survivor
Physical violence does occur in lesbian relationships. If you are a lesbian who is being battered by your partner, you may have some special issues. You may be afraid that getting help will involve telling people that you’re a lesbian which could result in loss of friends, family, job, housing or children. Your partner may threaten to come out for you to other people. She may tell you you’re not a real lesbian.
She may use the special concerns and issues of the lesbian community to keep you under control. She may tell you that by telling people about the abuse, you’re reinforcing the homophobia of the straight culture, and are selling out lesbians. You may be afraid to tell your family because this may reinforce their views that you’re in a “sick” lifestyle. You may not want your partner to lose her job or family by reporting her to the police, and therefore revealing her orientation.
You can get the assistance you want and be sensitively and respectfully helped by calling any of the groups whose numbers appear in this handbook.
If you are a gay male survivor
You may encounter many of the same barriers that lesbian survivors do. The same laws apply. Physical, emotional and economic abuse occur in gay relationships, too. Help is available from Affirmations. Call 1 (800) 398 - GAYS to get you out of abusive relationships.
If you are a male survivor
There is a popular misconception that a male can’t be abused. Some men think they won’t be believed or that they’ll be humiliated if they speak up and try to get help.
Men do get abused, and although this abuse is less common than abuse of women, it is just as wrong. Call a few of the groups in this handbook. You will be sensitively and respectively helped.
If you have a physical disability
Assailants may perceive people with physical disabilities as easier to control. Assailants often use the disability as another method of control. You may be battered by your personal care attendant. Your caregiver might threaten to withhold food, medication or care.
Because of environmental barriers, people with physical disabilities are already isolated. The batterer may be increasing that isolation through such tactics as removing the wheelchair ramp, removing the T.D.D., or not helping you get places. If you are unable to drive a car, use a bus, or a cab, it could be more difficult for you to escape.
There is a myth that caretakers batter people with disabilities because they are frustrated with taking care of them. This is not true. Assailants batter in order to control.
Help is available through the groups listed in this book. Give them a call.
If you are elderly
If you are no longer independent, you may be depending on someone for care who is abusing or neglecting you. Many older people are afraid to report abusive caregivers for fear of retaliation. You may think that if this caregiver is out of the picture, you will have nowhere to go. There is help available for you, too.
Some examples of abuse and neglect that older people may suffer at the hands of their caregivers are: improper use of restraints or medication, threats of punishment or isolation, being left alone for long periods of time, having money stolen, or being deprived of meals, beverages, eyeglasses and hearing aids.
